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April 3rd, 2017 |
Top Five Times I Was Almost Arrested
| 5.) | The time I hired a hooker to go down and wait in line for Tool tickets |
| 4.) | That time I was caught on tape by an undercover police officer admitting I use mayo instead of butter on my grilled cheese sandwiches |
| 3.) | The time I almost caused a riot when I said Raphael was the best Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle |
| 2.) | The time I gave that cop the middle finger I found near the crime scene |
| 1.) | The time I mailed a jar of my farts to the White House |